…is brought to us by the great state of Indiana, where some nutsack has been convicted in court of trying to force his kids to stab their cat, so they could “learn to kill”. Unsurprisingly:
Collins said he was intoxicated at the time
So in all my years living in the hustle-and-bustle city, I never had anyone get nutty on the roads — at least not in my presence. Though I was present for the guy that shut down the DC area with his “I’m going to jump, I’m not kidding!” act on the Wilson Bridge. The police eventually shot him off the bridge, because you can only take so much bad traffic before someone snaps!
Well since moving to the tranquil ‘burbs last winter, I’ve had not one but two incidents of traffic-related craziness personally involving me:
1.) About three weeks ago, I’m at the head of the line in a left turn lane. The moment the light turns, the lady behind me leans on her horn (yep, one of those). It had been a crappy day and I was in a bad mood so I flipped her off as I drove away. You guessed it — the little old lady from Pasadena (well, more like the middle-aged DINK from Burke) chased me to the carside-to-go window, blocked me in and got out of her car to come over and yell at me. Apparently not in too much of a hurry to take time out for all that — and with the carside waitress as a witness, no less.
2.) This afternoon I was practicing one of the perks of motorcycling — using the shoulder to “extend” the turning lane so I don’t have to wait two extra cycles of the light to get into my neighborhood. I hear someone tapping their horn at me as I go by, think nothing of it. As I pause at the foot of my driveway to trigger the garage door, I hear …the same horn again. It’s a gold Chevy Cavalier with a blond guy behind the wheel. He slows down as he passes by, then makes a U-turn and comes by again, still honking.
Two observations. First, where the f–k did I move to?? Second, what kind of idiot chases down a random vehicle that, for all they know, is piloted by a heavily-armed psycho? Or a perfectly normal human who will react accordingly to such a threatening gesture… just something to keep in mind.
…you can count on public school administrators to come up with the most stunningly mindless and pedantic response to a violent incident that happened halfway across the country and has nothing to do with their particular school.
Police Thursday released portions of an essay used to charge a Cary-Grove High School student with disorderly conduct, leaving several experts puzzled at an arrest based on such schoolwork.
Asked to write about whatever he wanted in a creative writing class, would-be Marine and honors student Allen Lee, 18, described a violent dream in which he shot people and then “had sex with the dead bodies.”
Allen “Lee”? Yes, of course he’s asian.
After 4/16 everyone knows asian kids who write a violent scene must be future school shooters! I have actually attached electrical generators to harness the energy of my eyes rolling at this, and am currently selling electricity back to the power company. I am not, however, going to write a long-ass post about all that’s wrong with the quoted scenario. If it’s not obvious, then there’s no way I can make you understand. There is certainly no way I could ever make the administrators or police up there in IL understand. That much is clear…
* Side note: You may notice I’ve added a new category for this post. Ungeheuer is a German word that means, roughly, “jaw-dropping, un-effing-believable thing that no real human being should ever have come up with, but someone did anyway.”