You Got to Be Kidding Me!


Posted in Silly/Funny, Snark by Stacy McMahon on March 7, 2007

Today’s lunchtime theme is “something isn’t right here”, and our first entry comes via Clint’s blog. It’s a heartwarming tale of a chance meeting on an overnight flight. Two strangers in the night; she looked at him, he looked at her, he was overcome coming all over her:

An off-duty Northwest Airlines employee was arrested after a woman on a flight from Seattle complained that the man had ejaculated on her.

How exactly does something like this happen, you might ask? I mean, I know for most of us it ain’t no thang when some random guy walks up and whips it out, but I’ve never had any trouble sidestepping at the critical moment…

Near the end of the flight, the FBI said Gonzalez sat next to the woman as she was trying to sleep. He touched her, which she described as spooning, lifted her shirt and then got up and left. Court documents said she felt a warm fluid on her back, clothes and seat after he walked away. She told the officers he had ejaculated on her.

So unless I’m reading this completely wrong, Chester the Molester came and sat next to this woman who had never seen him before in her life, snuggled in behind her and put his hands under her shirt, and started rubbing against her, and apparantly she took all of this in stride and didn’t get upset until she realized he left her a present.

Next time I see a pretty girl somewhere I’ll have to remember that it’s perfectly acceptable in polite society to go up and grope her. But I won’t ejaculate down her back–no, that’s just plain rude!

Today’s second entry comes from Christina’s blog, and is one of those things that could only happen in Star Wars or West Virginia Germany (actually I think it’s more eastern Germany, but let me have my joke) A brother and sister, separated at birth, meet by chance as adults–not knowing their relationship, they fall in love.

And have four children.

“People harass us all the time and call us the incest couple. They have no idea who we really are or how it all happened,” Patrick says, and then he goes on to speak about the legal ordeal he’s been put through. He’s been to jail because of the relationship with his sister […]

Because German society is liberated, the Hapsburg happy couple never considered getting married, and thus didn’t go through the bureaucratic hassles that might have led to medical discovery of their common lineage.

Or so I thought, until I read the article in Spiegel (it’s in German, I can read at least half of it without help; you can use Babelfish):

By the time he was 18, he wanted to know where his long-lost parents were. The Youth Services Agency arranged a contact with the birth mother; the father had died. Thus in May 2000, S. got to know his mother–and his [seven year younger] sister Susan, who had had no knowledge of the existence of an older brother.

Half a year later, at age 50, the mother died. Patrick S. came to live in the family home, the two siblings supporting each other–and becoming a couple. In 2001 their son Erik was born.

So they met in their mother’s home and had six months to get to know each other, meaning we can safely assume they knew their relationship. And they decided to do this anyway. Well, god save the queen! Christina does make a good point though:

I just figure that there are enough fucked up relationships out there that nobody does anything about (ahem, Britney & Kevin, just to start with), why should this be treated any differently. Yes, these people probably need serious counseling, but so do hundreds of thousands of other parents out there.

Does Paris Hilton have a brother?


One Response

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  1. Clint said, on March 7, 2007 at 4:54 pm


    “know for most of us it ain’t no thang when some random guy walks up and whips it out, but I’ve never had any trouble sidestepping at the critical moment…”

    That is (so-far) my all-time favorite quote from you!

    On a serious note tho…. This relates to my blogging about 12-yo kids going to juvi for slapping butts and touching tits. It’s hard to know where “the line” is drawn.

    You seem surprised that it was okay to be groped, but not to be ejaculated on. But maybe that’s where she draws her line. It’s in a different place than normal people (who would not allow groping), but it’s still a line.

    Guessing where people’s line are, getting as close to the edge without accidentally going over it…. it’s hard.

    I’m not doling any sympathy out to the guy — just making a point that for a lot of people, they don’t really care if they get groped. [I’ve experienced this firsthand in some wild after-club party nites….:)]

    But they still might mind being ejaculated on 🙂

    But i really just chimed in because of “sidestep … crucial moment”. That is HILARIOUS.

    Whoa, I posted about the incest too!

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